A Magical Dance
Skirts swirl
Feet twirl
All prance
soaking up the magical dance
So dances the crowd
as if it were atop a cloud
Ladies dressed in fanciful gowns
With feathers, shoes, and crowns
Gentlemen's shirts are a river of lace
Being magnificent dancers, they have extreme grace
The marble floors gleam
The champagne runs in a bubbly stream
The dancers will not stop
They will sway and spin until they drop
As rare as these nights are
Many people come from afar
All gasp as the crowd begins to part
The music ends, and does not restart
Enters the prince and a girl
She is finer than a pearl
She is a woman clothed in tangerine
A more elegant outfit is not to be seen
They are dancing at the head of the throng
It seems as if this night will always go on
Now music flows
Even as the night slows
It seems like they are not real
Like they cannot see, touch or feel
Soon the prince and his girl are gone
Now it is almost dawn
People begin to drift away
waiting to dance another day
posted by Lydia @ 9:11 AM
5 Comments:
Is this better? I understand about not breaking the rhyme, but I think it sounds better when the words "click" so to speak. I had a pretty good idea that the two lines did not fit, but I couldn't find anything else to fit. Thank you for the comment, and I will work on the men, sounds, and sights as you said.
I know you're not going to like this, but I still want more.
Is that selfish? I just feel like there is so much more to share----that there's an underlying story.
WHy are they dancing?
Does this happen often?
Where are they?
Keep going Lydia, you are a talented writer, and you owe it to yourself to push yourself & make your brain hurt.
Miss Q
I see this as sort of a timeless, magical place, maybe I could add this, I see the people as sort of magical,like the place comes and goes on a particular night, as if the costumes are contest to see which ones are brigther, and I see it as if all of the women are wearing ball gowns.
Do you think I am done now? I feel kind of drained.
IF it were me, I'd be ready to stop. It is lovely, magical, and timeless just as you say.
Miss Q
Post a Comment
<< Home